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I read a lot about oxytocin effect on female health and overall feeling of wellbeing during my nutrition, mental health and neuroscience courses. Multiple research findings were pretty fascinating and looked like a solution for all specific “girly” problems. Statistically, the majority of us (especially single working ladies) lacks this miracle hormone that’s why we constantly feel stressed, depressed, gain weight, experience anxiety attacks, sleep deprivation, digestion problems, irregular or painful periods, moodiness and so on. On the other hand, it’s not easy to find the desired partner and build bonding relationships to regulate the natural release of oxytocin. So, I made my research, found oxytocin in a form of nasal spray and decided to test the chemical on myself.
Here is the report.
I got delivered nasal oxytocin spray yesterday. I always try all supplements on myself before I recommend it to my clients. So took it. Results are incredible. But before I share let me tell a couple of words about oxytocin itself:
1) it’s a hormone of bonding (usually our body produces it naturally when we cuddle with the loved ones). Female body also produces oxytocin during breastfeeding.
2) women are more sensitive to oxytocin than men (men produce vasopressin – male bonding hormone similar to oxytocin)
3) oxytocin neutralizes cortisol (the hormone of stress which has catabolic and inflammatory properties as well as provokes water retention, immune system suppression, and increases anxiety). Cortisol reduction helps women feeling more relaxed and satisfied, however, according to multiple studies, it reduces critical reasoning and motivation.
So! What did I feel?
1 hour after the injection: relaxation. My verbal functions and mental sharpness are slightly suppressed but I’m still fine and focused.
2 hours after the injection: I created an affordable package of my services and posted it on my web-site. (I’m not going to earn selling it but I will have more exposure and more opportunities to sell complimentary services, therefore, such as PT sessions). So I’m calm and relaxed but still alert and pretty logical, however, less hungry to profits.
3 hours after the injection: I went to bed because I felt like fall asleep. Usually, I work until I’m done. So, the obsessive motivation for success is gone. The feeling of my personal comfort and wellbeing turned into my top priority. Moreover, my verbal functions are suppressed even more. I don’t feel like to talk at all.
8 hours after the injection: still very relaxed, soft, tolerant. No obsessive motivation to hit the gym straight after getting up.
10 hours after the injection: spent an hour doing facial massage and beauty treatments with no anxiety to be late or lose time doing “unnecessary things”. Caught myself on clear understanding that
– I don’t really care to move back to Russia if in one year time my U.K. business (both of them) is not going to generate enough income to cover their high costs, salaries and my personal expenses (so pretty logical thought isn’t it?)
– I don’t care what anyone will think about it
– My comfort is my first priority
– I’m endlessly calm and relaxed
– I’m not going to work 12 hours a day anymore
– I love and value myself as I am and I’m completely fine with the way I move, look, sound, and so on. (Women will understand the feeling as we always never feel satisfied.)
Bodily effect:
– I have no water retention even if I’m on the first day of my period
– I have no psychological tension
– I have no muscles inflammation and moodiness
– I’m really fine with everything that’s going on.
Conclusion:
1. It works
2. It has positive impact on the body
3. If reduces cortisol as well as “fight or flight” motivational effect (be careful here if you have high-level risk-taking job)
4. It slightly reduces analytical functions and critical reasoning during the first few hours after the injection but both come back in 10 hours. The overall feeling of wellbeing is improved. However, motivation and drive for achievements are shrunk.
Social anxiety is one of the most common psychological disorders, following depression and alcoholism. The study published by Psychology Today revealed shocking results: 90% of participants stated that they experience symptoms of social anxiety disorder regularly. The good news: these 5 tips could help you to overcome symptoms and start living more fulfilling life.
1) Remember: you brain tend overthinking things.
No matter how confident we are, our brain is always anxious. Just take it as rule. It works this way, period! Our brain is evolutionarily wired to keep us safe from danger and rejection otherwise we would not survive. Anticipating a worrisome event is always worse than the actual situation. Always! For example, after being worried about a date or even visiting a gym in the first times, it may actually be a relief to walk through the door, and surprisingly find out that it is not scary at all. Our brain always tries to draw the worse case scenarios. So it’s important to remember that the alarm bells before an event are usually louder than necessary.
2) Face your fear – volunteer!
Exposure-response prevention is one of the CBT techniques that recommends facing your fear voluntary step by step or at once (depends on your personality). Push yourself slightly or just “jump into the sea”. I mean, for example, ask whoever is in charge how you can help. If you are worried, for instance, about the big event and scared to meet new people – volunteer to be a host. It sounds a bit strange but it works. Often, social awkwardness could be eliminated by having a defined role. Asking attendees to sign the guest book gives you a reason to interact with people with no fear to be rejected.
3) Be curious
Many people feel anxious because they think that they have nothing to say. Here is one helpful technique: ask open-ended questions or ask for advice. Carry on. Ask another question based on answers that take the conversation deeper. Many people would be glad to talk about their lives.
4) Dedication is the key
Don’t trust to what you see in social media. Multiple social psychology studies shown that the average American has about two true friends and one out of four participants revealed that they have no social circle at all. Unfortunately, we are living in the century of solitude. It means you are not alone. We are all in the same shoes to some extent. All of us suffer from the lack of true deep relationships. So, take the initiative! Think, what you like to do and, based on your answers, plug yourself into a small, recurring group with like-minded people.
Do you like rave music? Go and party. Do you like skiing – take a day off and subscribe for skiing school. The most important part is to be consistent and to keep showing up. Commit for at least few month, even if you’re tempted to stop. Just keep going and trying, and one day you will meet nice people.
5) Counseling
If you’re ready for a change, a good CBT partitioner could help you face your fears safely. You will be asked to build a hierarchy of things you are scared or avoid. Next, you’ll work through them gradually, moving on to the next level when you’re ready.
Don’t let the social anxiety to ruin your life. Take your time, practice, be friendly, slightly push yourself, and slowly but surely you will start being comfortable in your own skin.
Which foods are able to act as natural relaxants and anti-depressants is a question I’m often asked by clients.
Mediterranean Diet probably is one of the best combinations of ingredients with anti-depressants properties. To begin with, an overall balanced diet is always helpful. By that I mean a clean wholefood diet with the minimum possible amount of processed food intake. Macronutrient modulation varies and depends on factors such as your:
– activity level
– overall fitness level
– body composition
– body related goals
– lifestyle
Probably the best healthy ratio is:
– up to 20% healthy fats
– 30-40% lean protein
– 40-50% carbohydrates.
We’ll talk about an ideal macronutrients’ modulation ratio in another article in more detail.
Returning to the main topic, the following is a (non-exhaustive) list of foods with calming and relaxing properties:
1) Almost all fruits and berries: They are full of natural sugar and antioxidants. Fructose is the quickest carb (source of energy) after refined sugar, and your body will automatically feel happier and more relaxed with more sugar in the bloodstream. However, do keep in mind that if you aim to become leaner you will have to pursue a diet with a low fructose content.
2) Oily fish. Fish oil is well-known nutrient that increases the brain’s metabolism. By combining fish oil with nootropics you can easily achieve a state of calm and have a clearer mind. Book aconsultation to get a list of over-the- counter nootropics.
3) Herbal tea. A blend of mint, chamomile, artichoke and lavender is one of the best relaxation options.
4) Cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cacao are four spices that were historically used as natural mood lifters and relaxants. Adding a sprinkle of cinnamon in your coffee can help, or even simply inhaling their scent.
5) Chicken hearts and liver are perfect sources of essential amino acids, vitamin B, choline, inositol and Iron. This combination of nutrients is one of the most effective ‘cocktails’ for boosting the central nervous system.
6) Despite the negative publicity and misconceptions surrounding the consumption of egg yolks, the high concentration of cholesterol in them is designed by nature as a perfect source of nutrients. Rich in lecithin, vitamin B, amino acids, choline, inositol, vitamins A and E, phosphatidil serine and many more beneficial substances, egg yolks alone could provide your body with almost everything it needs. However, do not exceed the healthy allowance. Have 1-3 whole eggs a day, adding some separated egg whites if you need to increase your protein intake.
7) Now anyone with a sweet tooth can celebrate – Dark Chocolate!! Yes, having a piece or two of dark chocolate each day will definitely help your body to boost its ‘positive vibe’ hormones.
8) Have a glass of wine. Yes, and YES again!!! But only one, and make sure it’s a high quality wine. First of all, it’s an additional 75 kcal of quick energy that your body will be grateful for. Secondly, high quality wine contains a high concentration of bio-flavonoids and antioxidants.
Taken in a moderate quantities, wine can also act as a minor natural relaxant.
And remember; even if you eat healthily all the time and are a fitness fanatic, allowing your body a little bit of what you really love is always beneficial. By keeping your diet 95% clean, let’s say, you will have even better results than confining yourself to a strict regimen of traditional lean and mean boiled chicken breast, and rice and broccoli.
There are an abundance of meditative techniques out there, ranging from ancient Buddhist practices to the latest theories of mindfulness. At heart, they share the aim of preventing the meditator from becoming locked in compulsive thinking patterns, in large part by encouraging them to fully focus on ONE particular thing at a time. This could entail simply concentrating on the present moment, or contemplating a sacred Mandala, listening to mantras, or even (as was the case with me) having a kiteboarding lesson. You can use traditional authentic techniques or create your own way to meditate – whichever best works for you. There are no rules, and everything is possible and permissible.
Our minds constantly oscillate between the past and future, and we are rarely fully present at any given moment. Even when trying to do yoga, or to meditate, we often slip into involuntary thinking patterns. Meditation is about achieving a mental stillness, about calming the mind for a period of time and creating a specific mental space. We need that quiet space to unwind, heal and recover, and to be able to create or perceive new things.
You can meditate whenever you feel you need it – sometimes just 10-15 minutes is sufficient. It’s widely believed, however, that the optimal time (the ‘sacred period’) to meditate is when you wake up or go to bed. Morning meditation is a perfect way to start your day in the right mode, but do not confuse it with planning your day. Try to completely avoid thinking during the meditation time, clearing your mind of distracting or unnecessary thoughts. Evening meditation is a great way to unwind after a hard day before you sleep. You can also practice short “time-in” whenever you feel you need it. I meditate like this while I’m on public transport, or even during my morning run. Evening workout in the gym could also be a good time.
How to start
The idea of spending between ten to thirty minutes without thinking may sound easy, but it takes practice to truly master. How, then, can this be achieved? You can start by focusing your attention on your body. Try to feel each part of your body separately: your legs, arms and other extremities. Then switch your attention to your breathing, or try to feel the energy which flows through your body. Try to go beyond the physical, following your stream of inner energy: Don’t be afraid, just trust the journey and go with the flow. At the end of the meditation think about those ‘greater’ goals in your life, such as being kind, loving, grateful, compassionate and so on. Everyone has his or her own set of personal goals.
Practicing giving-receiving and gratitude
My current goal, for example, is to learn how to receive love, help and goodwill, and to generally be grateful for everything that comes into – and leaves – my life.
Since I am naturally a giving person, I know how to love and how to help. However I have always struggled with receiving. Psychologists believe that those who have difficulty with receiving may have deep-rooted trust, acceptance and/or self-acceptance issues. When you only give and are not open to receiving, you initially become rapidly drained, and then start to appreciate other people less. Such an imbalance could be harmful to your relationships. People around you invariably feel that they are underappreciated, and it’s painful for them and for you. That’s why it’s important to be able to give and receive at the same time.
Take a moment to think about your life goals. Perhaps your past brings back painful memories and prevents you from truly opening your heart to show your true self and feelings. Or perhaps, conversely, you actually give too much, and don’t leave space for your relationships to grow and develop naturally. It’s a very personal journey and all of us have certain things to work on.
a very personal journey and all of us have certain things to work on.
Touch your soul
Try to feel, see and talk to your soul. This probably sounds weird, but try it anyway. Eckhart Tolle, the author of the bestseller The Power of Now, describes this meditation technique perfectly. Try to see, feel and fully focus on your ‘inner body’ (i.e. your soul). It can take time to become comfortable practicing this technique. When I tried it, I found it to be a very relaxing and mind-clearing experience. Advanced yoga and meditation practitioners can further extend this technique by switching the focus of their attention from observing the soul to watching how it’s connected to the Universe. Some practitioners are able to get incredible insights during such deep meditations. Try and share what you think.
Music as a key to the door
Some people believe that ‘authentic’ meditation should only be performed in silence. It is completely up to you. I practice both ways: Listening to sounds of nature may be the best way to replenish your stocks of energy. However, hectic urban life often doesn’t afford us the opportunity to escape to a remote beach or a rural forest for an hour or two. In this case music can act as a key to open the ‘sacred door’ to the soul. Try various things, and choose what works for you the best: authentic mantras, classical music or your favourite jazz band.
Breath of life
If you haven’t decided how to start yet – try breathing. It is the easiest technique. Just breathe deeply. Inhale – exhale – and then feel the natural pause before you inhale again. Try to concentrate on your breathing, feeling how your body rises and falls. Sense the smell and taste of the air. Next, try to feel how every inhaled breath fills your body with crystal-clear Universal energy and how, when you exhale, all your worries, anxieties and fears exit your body. Repeat this breathing cycle exercise until you start feeling relaxed and reenergized.
4 elements meditation
Another way to meditate is to connect with the four elements: water, fire, air, and earth…. Interact with them one after another, fully concentrating on all the bodily feelings you will have. Start off by meditating for 5-10 minutes and then gradually extend this time. Remember, all four elements have their own energy, which you can absorb if you are open enough.
The ancient Greeks believed that Air/Wind gives us mental strength and the ability to think clearly and lucidly; that’s why it’s highly recommended to spend some time outside daily. It is precisely because of this elemental quality that, when we’re planning to take a walk, we say things like: “I have to refresh my mind”.
Water gives us flexibility, the ability to transform, and teaches us how to be more compassionate, understanding and loving. It also removes those negative energies we accumulate on an average day. To connect with water is the easiest task: just drink some (possibly while repeating positive affirmations) or take a bath.
Fire is materialized energy itself. It is warming, protective and in the same time tempering. Just put your palm next to a candle and try to absorb its energy, letting it flow through your body.
Finally, earth grounds us and imparts a feeling of stability and wellbeing. If you have the chance to walk barefoot on the ground – feeling the earth beneath your feet – fantastic. Obviously it’s pretty difficult to do so in a town or city, so just walk barefoot at home and try to imagine how the energy of the earth flows through your body, filling it with a sense of stability.
Plants are the creatures of earth. Bring flowers into your household and they will keep you connected to the fourth element. It is sometimes enough to simply smell, touch or observe them from time to time.
Stack the most critical training and nutrition factors in your favor to optimize muscle growth. Learn to build a solid, sustainable approach to fitness—along with a stellar physique!
You’ve seen the food pyramid—now meet the muscle-building pyramid! This simple structure lays out the essentials of what you need to do to add lean mass to your frame, while also providing the structure you need to prioritize them.
Each level of the pyramid builds off the next. What does this mean? Leap to the upper tiers without establishing the bottom two, and you’ll end up sore, burned out, and confused. If you stick to the base, you can go a long way, but you’ll be left wondering about your true potential.
With help from EAS athlete Jason Wittrock, you can start at the base of the pyramid, and build your way—and yourself—up!
LEVEL 1 TRAINING
Muscle growth starts with quality training, so the base of the pyramid focuses on training variables linked to muscle-growth processes. These are the factors that allow you to construct an effective program and create the stimulus your body needs in order to change!
Favor free-weight, multijoint movements. Single-joint movements like leg extensions or cable cross-overs have their place, but they shouldn’t be the centerpiece of your mass-building routine. Multijoint movements (think bench and squat) recruit far more muscle mass and give your body a greater stimulus to grow. Moreover, the challenge of handling a free-weight version of an exercise improves anabolism over a machine.
Train at the right intensity. Exercise scientists have determined most people should train between 70-85 percent of their one-rep max to elicit an optimal hypertrophic response. Choose a weight that allows you to do 6-12 reps with good form before reaching failure.
Add volume. Higher-volume, multiple-set protocols have consistently been shown to be superior over single sets when it comes to building muscle. This is one reason why advanced lifters often follow a body-part split.
HIGHER-VOLUME, MULTIPLE-SET PROTOCOLS HAVE CONSISTENTLY BEEN SHOWN TO BE SUPERIOR OVER SINGLE SETS WHEN IT COMES TO BUILDING MUSCLE. THIS IS ONE REASON WHY ADVANCED LIFTERS OFTEN FOLLOW A BODY-PART SPLIT.
Don’t build up volume simply by doing the same thing with different implements. Change angles, rep ranges, and types of weights.
Train to failure some of the time. Yes, you can grow without lifting to the point of failure, and certain movements don’t lend themselves well to it. But all things being equal, if you stop short of failure—especially on isolation moves for small body parts like arms and calves—you won’t get the same anabolic stimulus as if you pursue those last few challenging reps.
Contain rest periods. For bodybuilding purposes, moderate rest intervals of about 60-120 seconds between sets maximize the hypertrophic response. Resting too long has been shown to be counterproductive to muscle gains because it reduces overall accumulated metabolic stress, a marker of hypertrophy. The smaller the muscle and lighter the movement, the less you need to rest.
Lift with proper technique. Don’t take this for granted! It supports everything else on this level. An exercise won’t work the way you want it to if you’re not doing it right. Get feedback on your form if necessary.
LEVEL 2 NUTRITION
If you get the training variables down, you’re giving your body a great growth stimulus. But without proper nutrition, good luck turning it into muscle!
Eat enough. If your goal is to add mass, you need to eat more calories each day than you’re burning. It doesn’t have to be a lot more. You can shoot for 0.5-1.5 pounds of gain in mass each week—or about 2-6 pounds a month—without adding significant amounts of body fat. That comes to an increase of about 300-500 calories daily over and above your maintenance level of calories. Check the scale regularly to determine whether your body weight is increasing within your target range.
Eat enough protein. You’ll hear a million different versions of how much fat or carbs you need. So let’s focus on what can’t be disputed: You need adequate protein to grow! Protein is essential to building and repairing damaged muscle tissue during hard training. Recommendations vary, but a time-honored amount that also happens to be the easiest to remember is 1 gram per pound of body weight daily, split into meals of at least 20-30 grams.
EAT ENOUGH. IF YOUR GOAL IS TO ADD MASS, YOU NEED TO EAT MORE CALORIES EACH DAY THAN YOU’RE BURNING.
So, how are you going to get it? “The easiest way to increase your protein intake is to make it your highest nutritional priority—which means you must always be prepared,” says Jason Wittrock. “I prepare all of my protein sources in advance and always make sure I keep my whey protein with me. When I’m sitting down eating a meal, I’m already thinking about being prepared for the next one.”
Increase your meal frequency. Consuming a higher level of calories than you burn and getting, say, 180 grams of protein a day, is pretty tough on just three meals a day. Supplementing meals with protein shakes and protein-rich snacks every 3-4 hours will help to keep rates of protein synthesis elevated while reducing protein breakdown.
Manage your excesses. You don’t have to subscribe to the “cheat meal” approach to gain muscle. But let’s face it: It’s difficult to eat clean 24/7 and gain weight, simply because the foods you’ll be favoring are relatively low in calories, and you won’t always want to eat large amounts of them. It’s OK to loosen the reins at times! Just do it on a hard training day, and make you’re still hitting your protein benchmarks.
LEVEL 3 ADVANCED GROWTH TECHNIQUES
You’re training right and eating right. Great! You’re on your way. Let’s consider a few more factors that could make the difference between OK results and great ones.
Incorporate progressive overload. Progressive overload simply means continually challenging your body to new levels of performance as it adapts to previous marks you set before it. You can do it many ways: lifting more weight, doing more reps, resting less, performing different movements—the sky is the limit, really. The key is to never fall into a comfort zone and never stop pushing yourself.
“Chasing your full potential is a never-ending process,” says Wittrock. “The minute you get comfortable, you stop growing. Don’t be afraid to try new things, and always stay hungry for new information. The second I feel like I’m in a comfort zone, I re-evaluate my goals. If you don’t have a big enough goal, you’ll find yourself in a comfort zone very quickly.”
Use intensity techniques. These are all ways of training past the point of failure. We don’t recommend doing them all at once or on every set, but once you’ve put in your time becoming fundamentally sound and strong in a movement, they can definitely help you take it to the next level.
Forced reps: As you reach muscle failure, your partner steps in and provides with just enough assistance to keep the weight moving for another 2-3 reps.
Dropsets: Once you reach muscle failure, quickly reduce the poundage by about 25 percent, and immediately continue on with the set to a second point of muscle failure.
Negatives: Instead of lifting a weight, lower it slowly for 3-5 seconds. Your partner then lifts the weight back to the start position. This works because you’re stronger lowering a weight than lifting it.
USE SUPPLEMENTS THAT BOOST TRAINING QUALITY. CERTAIN SUPPLEMENTS HAVE WELL-DOCUMENTED MASS-BUILDING BENEFITS, OFTEN BECAUSE THEY HELP YOU TRAIN HARDER AND DELAY FATIGUE.
Use supplements that boost training quality. Certain supplements have well-documented mass-building benefits, often because they help you train harder and delay fatigue. Here are four rock-solid choices:
Creatine has been shown to boost strength and muscle mass when used in combination with strength training.
Caffeine can delay fatigue during all types of training.
Whey protein should be a staple of your supplement stack as well, as it’s been shown to stimulate muscle protein synthesis and lead to greater increases in muscle mass and strength.
Time your nutrient intake. When building muscle is the goal, the meals before and after your workout are the most important. Make sure both have adequate protein, but also carbs, which are going to help you power through an intense workout and jump-start the recovery process. Fats are less important at this meal, so focus on them at other times of day.
LEVEL 4 RECOVERY
Don’t let recovery’s location all the way up at the top convince you it’s not important! It’s crucial to keep you coming back to the gym, feeling good, and preventing your training from hitting the wall. Skimp here, and you’ll feel it!
Don’t shortchange your sleep. Sleep is far more than just rest. It’s the time when your body releases hormones that enable you to heal from training and grow stronger. Most people need seven hours of quality sleep each night. Make this one of your highest priorities.
Rest from exercise. Part of this is up to your programming, but part of it is up to you!
DON’T SHORTCHANGE YOUR SLEEP. SLEEP IS FAR MORE THAN JUST REST. IT’S THE TIME WHEN YOUR BODY RELEASES HORMONES THAT ENABLE YOU TO HEAL FROM TRAINING AND GROW STRONGER.
If you’re serious about building mass, but you also play intense intramural sports regularly, chances are you aren’t doing your muscle-building efforts any favors. It’s extremely difficult to maximize muscle gains when you’re pushing yourself in other physically demanding activities.
“In order to build muscle, you must tear it down and allow it to rebuild itself,” says Wittrock. “For this reason, rest is absolutely essential. I hate rest as much as anybody, but I know it’s necessary to continue building muscle.
Supplement for recovery. Experienced lifters often take a two-pronged approach to supplementation: those that boost workout intensity, and those that boost recovery. Make no mistake: The two go hand in hand. “My key recovery supplements are glutamine, a protein supplement with carbs, and BCAAs with electrolytes,” Wittrock says.
Cycle intensity. You shouldn’t shy away from challenging workouts or programs. But training full-bore without stop for months on end is likely to do as much harm as good. Cycle in periods of lower-intensity training, and even time off from the gym, both for your physical as well as mental health.
BUILD A NEW YOU FROM THE GROUND UP
Muscle growth requires a lot of hard work, but also a lot of forethought and strategy. Don’t negate all that quality training you’ve been doing by phoning in your nutrition or recovery. Establish a solid base, and you’ll quickly surprise yourself with what you can achieve.
Living in a highly competitive environment, continuously emotionally assailed by depressing news, subjected to negative interactions with other people, overloaded with work and information… these features of modern life often mean that we lose our innate positivity. We rarely smile. We seem to be constantly in a rush, or puzzled, confused, embarrassed or angry. Anxiety and simmering psychological tension are etched on our faces. It is ever more difficult to be truly at peace, and feel happy, in this world. However, there are a few simple techniques to keep your mind clear, sideline negativity, focus on the right things, and ignore distractions.
I want to start this article with a story from my personal experience. It happened to me more than ten years ago, when I’d just completed my BA in literature and psychology and started my professional career in journalism, marketing and PR. This episode of my life was probably more valuable than the experience of all four of my degrees from top international universities combined. I’m really glad to be able to share this moment, and hope it will help you too.
Embrace your ‘Whatever!’ moment
I remember the time when I was living in New York. I was in my 20’s, working far from home as a PR manager for a few companies in Russia and Ukraine. I was incessantly busy, picking up new skills and abilities ‘on the go’, making mistakes, and attempting to juggle my career, studying, sporting activities and private life. I wanted to seize literally every opportunity, and be everywhere at once. I had problematic relationship with my boyfriend, and indeed had many complex, drama-filled relationships at the time. I was separated from my clients by a huge time difference and I was permanently jetlagged as I shuttled back and forth between countries.
I was finally exhausted and emotionally drained after a grueling twelve months of living such a lifestyle. My relationships eventually broke down and suddenly I had nothing left in the US. I felt both depressed and utterly overwhelmed. Finally, it became unbearable and I I took a week off which I decided to spend in Florida, simply to relax a little bit before leaving the States for good.
It was fantastic, sunny morning. One of those brilliant days when your wake up at 6 am with no alarm just because your body is sufficiently rested. I put my trainers on and went out for a run. I was still feeling confused and upset about my relationships and work, and my mind was churning with negative thoughts and self-pity. I could not see anything around me and felt nothing but anger and regret. I ran faster and faster, and suddenly stopped. When I lifted my eyes I saw a beautiful, magisterial yacht in the marina in front of me. The boat was black and its name – “WHATEVER” – was written on the prow huge, silver letters. It was so unusual that it resembled nothing so much as a spaceship: The contrast with the neighbouring yachts was striking, and at that moment it was the answer to all my questions and worries – ‘Whatever’. It was an insight that I have carried in my soul ever since…
On returning to Moscow my life changed dramatically – for the better. The change was not a result of life suddenly becoming smoother. On the contrary, I still had plenty of ups and downs after that. But it changed because any time when I felt negativity, anger, regrets about past and worries about future bubbling up, the magic yacht popped into my mind and filled it with those shiny, silver words… “WHATEVER”.
Purify your mind
“WHATEVER” is an amazing technique, but it is very much a personal touchstone, based on an experience unique to me. The majority of cognitive behavioral therapy practitioners recommend a regular purification of the mind. David Allen, the famous productivity coach, recommends clearing it out whenever an intrusive and unpleasant thought arises. I couldn’t agree more. When your mind is in order, your life, relationships, business and lifestyle will be in order too. But all of us are human beings and prone to involuntary compulsive thinking that can turn life into a nightmare. The following is a brief description of a few applicable techniques to help declutter mind.
The Little book of anger
According to Eckhart Tolle the majority of intrusive thoughts have negative connotations. Why? The answer is simple. The human brain is never trapped by positive thoughts. They flow easily through our mind and vanish, leaving perhaps only a slight, pleasant afterglow. It is amazing how quickly our brain discards positive emotions, and yet how long it’s able to mull over negative feelings. Tolle believes that our egos and ‘pain bodies’ (psychological traumas we carry though life) love negativity, as they are fed by such emotions, growing in size and strength. Why do they need it? Easy. To dominate and control us, deceiving us into believing that we are actually only the sum of our negative thoughts. However, we are not. Egos and pain bodies are separate constructions dwelling inside our minds. Simply, they are a reflection of our self-perception based on negative experiences from the past; when something unpleasant happens which resonates with our past traumas, our brain latches onto it for as long as possible. That’s why negative thoughts and emotions are so overwhelming.
Remember that even when these thoughts appear to merge, and define, us, they are not who we really are.
It is actually surprisingly easy to deal with them. Once a negative emotion is recognised, caught, acknowledged as a negative emotion, and analysed and assessed coolly and objectively, it loses its influential power.
Tell yourself, as I do:
“This is not me, but a little bundle of intrusive negativity”
Make your negative feelings small
Let’s look at this concept in more detail. For instance, a person suffered from a lack of parental approval when he or she was young. This probably happened not because this person had a lack of talent, but because his or her parents were not vocal enough in expressing their feelings. In consequence, the individual feels pain when they don’t receive approval or recognition from others around them. An example from the workplace might be a neutral or ambivalent feedback on a project, or after performing a work-related task.
The individual experiences negative feelings, including self-pity, and finally feels that they are not good enough. Such feelings could become dominant and result in a profound lack of motivation, even triggering depression. However, let’s extract the negative thought at the root of the problem from this person’s head, and put it down on paper.
“My colleagues do not appreciate me enough. They do not like what I do”.
Does this brief little statement written on a tiny piece of paper look dangerous, offensive or overwhelming? It looks like two short sentences, but hardly resembles a terrifying monster. Two sentences have no power to turn life into a nightmare. Two sentences have no power to kill motivation, self-respect and inspiration either. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it, to even attempt to prove some deeper truth from a few, inconsequential words. Neither is there any point in trying to engage in a discussion with the words: First of all, a statement does not hear you. Secondly, you definitely do not owe anything to the statement, which was written by your own hand….
Should you try to prove yourself to your colleagues, then? Believe it or not, people are always preoccupied by their own fears and anxieties, and in the majority of cases don’t really care how good or bad your presentation was. So, there is no point in trying to persuade them that your presentation was brilliant. Moreover, it really doesn’t matter as it’s done. Past. History. Finito. All you can really do is try to make the next one better!
This is just an example of how you can learn to deal with overwhelming thoughts. To recap: kick them out of your head as soon as they appear. Put them down on paper, and read them. Ridiculous, aren’t they?
I always carry a little notebook where I can write various thoughts that pop into my head. These could be creative ideas, plans, little tasks I should not forget to do or annoying emotions I want to dispose of.
David Allen also recommends putting thought on paper in order to keep the mind fresh and pure: “Writing thoughts down gets them out of your head, clearing your brain of those things that are interfering with your ability to focus on what’s really important”. Such tactics can help to eliminate negativity at its inception, giving you the mental space, and peace, you need to concentrate on what needs to be done at that particular moment.
Classify and break down thoughts
Once all thoughts are written down – sort them out. Personally, I firstly split them into two main categories: emotions and actions. Once classified in this way, the discord and ‘noise’ in your mind caused by the basic problem of effectively organizing your daily life will die down, and you’ll be able to view the day ahead more calmly and objectively.
Usually emotions account for the larger part of a woman’s ‘head noise’, whereas ‘actions’ are often, but by no means always, associated with men.
Emotions, as I mentioned earlier, are predominantly negative as positive feelings never linger in the mind for long. Maybe some highly trained individuals are able to cultivate positive thinking, but this is relatively rare. I will touch on this issue in the upcoming article How to cultivate positive thinking. Negative emotions can be divided into anger, fears, and doubts. You’ll be surprised at how simple and repetitive our emotions are. Once sorted, they lose their intrusive qualities and stop looking quite so scary. Now you can target and eliminate them one at a time.
Actions is the second category. It in turn can be split into sub-categories. Allen categorises them as follows: do it, delegate it, defer it, drop it. As I mention in another article, I don’t usually use “defer” as I believe that all postponed action has little bearing on the present moment, and can thus be easily dropped, delegated or done.
“The brain classifies everything as threat or reward — we’re always staying away from threat or moving towards reward”.
I agree. Try to stay in a ‘toward state’. Generally, Rock contends, people perform better by “minimizing stress and threat responses”. And he’s right.
Another technique to stay in “toward mode” is to reinterpret threatening events. If you have to deal with a hard task don’t perceive it as a potential threat: Rather, see it as an opportunity to learn new things, meet new and interesting people, or get new experiences. Doing this can change your brain’s response towards the task, and dramatically stimulate creativity. In Rock’s words: “As you change your interpretation, you change your whole mental state,” says Rock.
Give a hand
Another way to get rid of negativity and declutter your mind is to switch into collaborative mode. I’m personally not very competitive, but collaborative by nature. It’s always been easy for me to say to someone: “hey, let’s do it together”. However, for some people teamwork can be extremely difficult. But keep in mind that through accepting the ability of other people to work as well as you, or perhaps even better, you gain a great opportunity to delegate, split and share.
We often underestimate our peers or feel subconsciously threatened.
Competitiveness always makes success hard to achieve.
We spend more energy competing and worrying about our perceived rivals, than cultivating creativity and positivity to achieve better results. To eliminate such feelings, just start working together from the outset.
By empowering others you empower yourself
and create a positive, transparent, and friendly atmosphere with no threats, no anxieties and as a result, stimulate a clear and creative mind.
You wake up, down a cup of coffee, grab your stuff and rush to the station to take the tube to work. The same stations, the same people, the same situations are repeated over and over again. Every day. Every month. Every year. You live like a sleepwalker, in a trance-like state, losing your “today” and waiting passively for things – one day- to change …
happiness vs consciousness
… but miracles like that rarely happen by themselves. You clock-watch, spending much of your time waiting for the end of each day, looking forward to the weekend and that holiday you have planned. You are often angry, scared or indifferent. You are always in a rush and not really happy, but live in the hope of a better life. You don’t truly live in the present, but instead in the past or future, overwhelmed by irritating memories of what could have been, or dreaming about a better future life. You focus on the material side of life, trying to get more goods, more money, more brands, and better holidays. You are greedy for pleasure, but when you actually get them you still feel empty…
Does that sound familiar? If yes – it’s time to wake up.
Let me introduce one key term at this point – consciousness.
What is consciousness?
Simply, consciousness is the state of mind when you are fully awake, living in the moment, objectively aware of yourself and others, and possessing a clear understanding of the roots, causes and consequences of events and actions.
Why is it important?
In her book Personal Excellence, Celestine Chua says that
the perception, beliefs, mindsets and values we hold right now are a result of the consciousness we are operating in.
Chua compare consciousness with “a lens you use to view reality”. Eckhart Tolle, author of the bestselling The Power of Now, compares consciousness with the ability to be awake and present at any moment of being. He believes that people spend 99% of their time conducting an internal dialogue about their past and future, which could be classified as an unconscious state. Sometimes this internal dialogue stops, most often when we are involved in some process requiring our full, undivided attention. However, most of the time we perform tasks automatically whilst fully immersed in our stream of our worries.
Another scholar involved in the field of consciousness and self-development, Dr. Hawkins, believes that
the higher the level of consciousness you are in the more objective, positive and loving your mindset.
Chua compares consciousness with myopia. The lower the level of consciousness you have at any moment, the more distorted your perception of yourself and reality. Conversely, the higher the level of consciousness you have, the greater your clarity of vision:
The higher you go, the more lucid you become, and the calmer, more loving and compassionate, more successful, more generous and sharing, and more balanced and positive you become.
Successful people vs normal
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Have you ever thought what the unique characteristics of successful people are? Why they always look calm and confident and seem to reflect so much positive energy? I’m not talking about people who are ‘successful’ by chance (inheritance, lottery or other miracles!). I’m speaking of inspirational visionary leaders, trendsetters and philanthropists such as Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, and Richard Branson. What do they have in common apart from fame and, in the case of the business-people on that list, money? You got it – a high level of consciousness! For exactly this reason they reached their goals and were able to manage their emotions and feelings, overcoming failure and disappointment to pursue their ambitions.
Levels of consciousness
Dr. Hawkins described 17 levels of consciousness. All of them were measured and marked from 0-1000 by the logarithmic method. I’m not going to cover the methodology in this article. I will focus on description of all 17 levels.
Dr. Hawkins consciousness scale
1). Shame (1-20)
This is the lowest level of consciousness, characterised by a feeling of constant humiliation and low self-esteem. These people feel worthless, miserable, ugly, stupid and unable to improve themselves or their lives. They tend to blame other people (parents, teachers, partners) or circumstances for their misery. According to Chua, “vibrating on this level for prolonged period of time can lead to elimination (of the self or others), in extreme cases resulting in suicide, or turning them into serial killers, rapists, moral extremists (mental of physical sadism)…”.
2) Guilt (30)
Feelings of misery are projected outward: This state is associated with public ‘punishment’ – a willingness to hurt or embarrass others. If you meet a person who tries to humiliate or hurt you, they are probably vibrating on this level.
3) Apathy (50)
This is a state of despair and helplessness. After being aggressive to others, abusers often experience feelings of emptiness that in turn trigger a sense of apathy. Many manifestations of addictive tendencies are common at this level, such as addictions to drugs, alcohol, TV, video games and social media.
4) Grief (75)
Many people are at this level at times of personal loss. The life-view is essentially tragic. The dominant colours are grey and black. People usually feel empty and paralysed, and want to break social contacts and escape from reality. This state is mostly inward focused. It may be externalised as a vibration of emotional disability or sadism, coldness, or ignorance.
People on the first four levels are overly focused on past heartaches, disappointments and tragedies. They don’t function ‘in the moment’ and are consequently unable to plan and create a future for themselves.
5) Fear (100)
The dominant feeling is one of anxiety. This level of consciousness is very often associated with anxiety disorder, and fears manifest themselves in a variety of ways: a fear of failure, loss, pain, death, even strangers, but the most powerful, overriding vibration is the same – timidity and defensiveness. People on this level are focused on the terrifyingly uncertain future. This level prevents any options for personal growth and self-development. One living on this level denies information and knowledge, and neglects and discounts the talents and wisdom of others.
6) Desire (125)
The dominant feelings at this level are ones of lust,craving and avarice. Someone on this level craves food, emotions, money, sex, and the consumption of material goods. They perceive others not as independent, valuable individuals but as tools to satisfy their cravings (material, professional, sexual, social). These people are focused on past experiences and on future pleasures and gains: They deny, and could even hate, their present existence as they see it as unsatisfying.
7) Anger (150)
The dominant emotion is hate. One of the common social expressions of anger is strident activism against something, followed by feelings of aggression, frustration and even revenge (ex. religious, environmental, animal rights, sexual minorities etc.). People on this level are focused on past pains and future revenge, seeing the present moment as basically frustrating, a time of waiting.
8) Pride (175)
The qualities which characterise this level are scorn, arrogance and racism. However, this state of consciousness is unstable, and could be destroyed at any time by people from the previous level (anger). You have probably noticed that arrogance is often “punished” with aggression. This is not by accident. Vibrating on the pride level, people often transmit the negative energy of dualism (I’m better then you – you are less worthy then me) that is easily picked up by people from the anger level (which may result in physical violence!) or even those on the guilt or shame strata (who, in a worst-case scenario, may be at risk of being physically or mentally abused or even killed). People on these level could be living in the present from time to time, but mostly dwell on their past achievements and dream about their future victories.
9) Courage (200)
This is the first wake-up point and a threshold between force (violence, aggression, physical and emotional extremism, jealousy, possessiveness, rudeness, and abuse) and power (help, support, sharing, empowering, and inspiring). The dominant emotions are openness (to knowledge, emotions, people, and tasks) and curiosity. Someone on the courage level of consciousness sees the world as an exciting place, full of great people and opportunities. Such a person is warm, open, willing to share (resources, emotions and information), supportive, collaborative, positive, and optimistic. These people have made a conscious effort to live in the present moment, even if their thoughts are mostly future-orientated. The past, in their mind, is accepted as providing lessons and experience.
10) Neutrality (250)
At this level people stop being judgmental. The dominant emotion is a feeling of safety and satisfaction. The individual is not possessive, not hungry for recognition, not aggressive, and very flexible. If they don’t attain something they aim for, they can easily refocus their energies toward something else. They believe in themselves and always have a plan B, a result of a solid understanding of the external world, an inner peace and a high degree of self-awareness. These people are very responsive due to their awakened state of being and are positive, supportive, confident and friendly.
11) Willingness (310)
This is a point where real social contributions begin. The dominant emotions are optimism and sympathy. Life is seen is hopeful. Someone on this level is able and willing to create and to contribute, not only for the benefit of themselves and those people close to them, but for the good of the whole world. These people are present and happy in their ‘now’.
12) Acceptance (350)
This is the second waking point, according to Chua. At this point the individual consciously realises that she or he is a creator. The person is highly aware of themselves and of the society in which they live, and see a clear path to reaching their goals of improving life. The dominant features at this level are acceptance over rejection, creativity, collaboration, openness, long-term vs short-term, ‘striving for personal excellence and growth’, and a willingness to educate and to develop him/herself and help others.
Another defining emotion at this level is forgiveness: Personal pain and old offences are relatively unimportant and go into the “memory box” of the past. One on this level clearly understands the abstract nature of time, and is able to separate the present from the past (in particular, painful memories) and the uncertain future (anxieties and fears) and direct all their optimism to fulfilling present tasks.
13) Reason (400)
Starting from this level, the individual’s presence ‘in the moment’ is constant.
Understanding and rationality are core features of those operating on the Reason Level. A person on this level tends to gather an enormous amount of information from various fields, puts it together, analyses it, and transforms it into easy understandable forms or extracts completely new ideas from it, transmitting these to others. “The life-view is meaningful” on this level, according to Chua. People on this level have the potential to make a huge, positive impact on society in general. Inventions, breakthroughs, and new scientific discoveries take place on this level. Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Eckhart Tolle, Tony Robinson are just a few examples of people who reached the level of Reason.
14) Love (500)
Starting from this level, the uncontrollable internal dialogue is over. People reaching this and the following levels are constantly present ‘in the moment’, and consciously free from negative emotions.
The dominant feeling is unconditional love. There is no antithetical feeling of hate, just overwhelming, outwardly-radiating love. Mother Teresa is one of the brightest examples. According to Dr. Hawkins, only 0.4% of society could reach such a state of consciousness.
15) Joy (540)
According to Chua, “the dominant emotions are serenity and compassion”. The world is perceived as being inherently perfect at this level. “This is the level where saints, advanced spiritual students and healers dwell”, Chua concludes. She adds that some people close to death could also briefly ascend to the level of Joy.
16) Peace (600)
Bliss is the dominant feeling. “At this level, there is no longer any distinction between observer and subject”, Chua says. Eckhart Tolle describes this level as free from judgmentalism and negativity; the individual lives constantly in the ‘now’.
There are no random thoughts, no random emotions or destructive feelings. One on this level is fully connected with the universe at every single moment of their existence. Hawkins thinks that only one in a million could reach this level of consciousness. Examples include Jesus Christ, and the Buddha.
17) Enlightenment (700-1000)
No emotions and no thoughts at all exist at this level. The individual transforms into a channel of pure universal energy. Examples include Christ resurrected, the Buddha following enlightenment, and Krishna.
Consciousness vs success and productivity
Consciousness vs energy level
What is the correlation between consciousness and productivity/creativity? The lower the level you are on, the lower your productivity and creativity are. Real creativity starts from the level of Courage, the first positive, outwardly-focused, level. Productivity is pretty low before the level of Pride because individuals waste their energy through continuously occupying themselves with negative thoughts, and worries.
Consciousness vs energy level
Your energy level is tightly linked with your level of presence ‘in the moment’, and the quantity of negative thoughts or dreams about your future you fill your mind with, with no actions to realise or avoid those possibilities. People literally waste themselves away on worries, anger, jealousy, aggression, pointless competition, and empty dreams, rather then creating anything useful for either themselves or others.
How to wake up
According to Dr. Hawkins 85% of society never even reach the first wake-up threshold, the level of Courage, instead fluctuating between shame and anger.
He explains this phenomenon largely through economics (being below the poverty line, many people simply don’t have any opportunity to develop themselves, instead spending their life time struggling to survive). Even with an abundance of resources, most people don’t even reach the level of Pride, as they are overly focused on competition and the acquisition of material goods. He concludes that the average level of consciousness on our planet is fairly low. The lower the average level, the greater the level of damage inflicted on a daily basis to both the planet, and ourselves.
Your personal level is mostly your own responsibility. Here are just a few tips on how to increase your consciousness
Find inspiration.
It could be anything, or anyone, inspiring: gurus, books, motivational talks, travelling to new places, interacting with interesting people.
Try to find inspiration in every day of your life. Collect inspirations, write them down or take pictures to use them in future. The more inspiration you have in your life, the more focused on the present moment and positive you become.
Leave your comfort zone.
Thy to do something new, explore new areas of activity, enhance your experiences and develop your skills, learn new subjects or delve more deeply into subjects you are familiar with, and acquire new experience and knowledge. Do this daily. Add new things on both the mental and physical sides to maintain a balance.
Be present
Time is an abstract phenomenon, existing only in our head. Logically, there is no past and no future. There is only the constant present moment – ‘now’. If you make an effort and focus on the present moment, cutting out the past (painful or aggravating memories) and the future (uncertainty and related anxieties) you could easily clear your mind of any negative thoughts. If you ask yourself if you have problems now, at this particular moment, 99% of the time the answer will be ‘no’. So, there are no reasons to worry. Just stay in the present.
Stay positive whatever happen
As in the previous point, there is no need to worry as the past no longer exists (it passed a second ago!) and the future has not yet happened. 99% of our worries live in our heads only, so be upbeat and create a better future for yourself.
Cut waste
It’s related to any sort of waste: clothing you don’t wear, folders you don’t use, watching TV, scrolling social medias feeds, chatting about nothing with people who don’t bring your up. Clean everything up and regularly aerate your space with fresh air, new ideas and new knowledge.
Moreover, be very careful choosing people you interact with. According to Celestine Chua your level of consciousness is an average of 5 people you interact more often. So, it’s up to you but keep in mind aggressive, shallow, apathetic, jealous, competitive, miserable and constantly moaning people will drag you down.
Be compassionate
Help, support and empower others if you can. Remember the more positive energy you spread around the more positive your World will become.
Collaborate rather then compete
Competitiveness gives birth to aggression, jealousy, constant comparisons and other lower energy feelings. Collaboration is in opposite: put together creativity and recourses for better off, empower people, and multiply positivity.
Share experience and knowledge
Don’t be shy to share your knowledge and experience with others. Very possible they will appreciate and use it for better off.
Follow your life purpose
This point is worth to write a book. I will definitely write a separate article about it. For now just saying: never betray your dream. If you feel that you were born to express yourself in dancing – dance, if your were born to acquire and share knowledge – teach, if you feel you have a talent in sport – go for it.
Living in a highly competitive environment, continuously emotionally assailed by depressing news, subjected to negative interactions with other people, overloaded with work and information… these features of modern life often mean that we lose our innate positivity. We rarely smile. We seem to be constantly in a rush, or puzzled, confused, embarrassed or angry. Anxiety and simmering psychological tension are etched on our faces. It is ever more difficult to be truly at peace, and feel happy, in this world. However, there are a few simple techniques to keep your mind clear, sideline negativity, focus on the right things, and ignore distractions. 
openmindportal.com 