emotions

How artificial oxytocin injection influences female health

This article is re-published from www.fitandtreat.com

I read a lot about oxytocin effect on female health and overall feeling of wellbeing during my nutrition, mental health and neuroscience courses. Multiple research findings were pretty fascinating and looked like a solution for all specific “girly” problems. Statistically, the majority of us (especially single working ladies) lacks this miracle hormone that’s why we constantly feel stressed, depressed, gain weight, experience anxiety attacks, sleep deprivation, digestion problems, irregular or painful periods, moodiness and so on. On the other hand, it’s not easy to find the desired partner and build bonding relationships to regulate the natural release of oxytocin. So, I made my research, found oxytocin in a form of nasal spray and decided to test the chemical on myself.

Here is the report.

I got delivered nasal oxytocin spray yesterday. I always try all supplements on myself before I recommend it to my clients. So took it. Results are incredible. But before I share let me tell a couple of words about oxytocin itself:

1) it’s a hormone of bonding (usually our body produces it naturally when we cuddle with the loved ones). Female body also produces oxytocin during breastfeeding.

2) women are more sensitive to oxytocin than men (men produce vasopressin – male bonding hormone similar to oxytocin)

3) oxytocin neutralizes cortisol (the hormone of stress which has catabolic and inflammatory properties as well as provokes water retention, immune system suppression, and increases anxiety). Cortisol reduction helps women feeling more relaxed and satisfied, however, according to multiple studies, it reduces critical reasoning and motivation.

So! What did I feel?

1 hour after the injection: relaxation. My verbal functions and mental sharpness are slightly suppressed but I’m still fine and focused.

2 hours after the injection: I created an affordable package of my services and posted it on my web-site. (I’m not going to earn selling it but I will have more exposure and more opportunities to sell complimentary services, therefore, such as PT sessions). So I’m calm and relaxed but still alert and pretty logical, however, less hungry to profits.

3 hours after the injection: I went to bed because I felt like fall asleep. Usually, I work until I’m done. So, the obsessive motivation for success is gone. The feeling of my personal comfort and wellbeing turned into my top priority. Moreover, my verbal functions are suppressed even more. I don’t feel like to talk at all.

8 hours after the injection: still very relaxed, soft, tolerant. No obsessive motivation to hit the gym straight after getting up.

10 hours after the injection: spent an hour doing facial massage and beauty treatments with no anxiety to be late or lose time doing “unnecessary things”. Caught myself on clear understanding that

– I don’t really care to move back to Russia if in one year time my U.K. business (both of them) is not going to generate enough income to cover their high costs, salaries and my personal expenses (so pretty logical thought isn’t it?)

– I don’t care what anyone will think about it

– My comfort is my first priority

– I’m endlessly calm and relaxed

– I’m not going to work 12 hours a day anymore

– I love and value myself as I am and I’m completely fine with the way I move, look, sound, and so on. (Women will understand the feeling as we always never feel satisfied.)

Bodily effect:

– I have no water retention even if I’m on the first day of my period

– I have no psychological tension

– I have no muscles inflammation and moodiness

– I’m really fine with everything that’s going on.

Conclusion:

1. It works

2. It has positive impact on the body

3. If reduces cortisol as well as “fight or flight” motivational effect (be careful here if you have high-level risk-taking job)

4. It slightly reduces analytical functions and critical reasoning during the first few hours after the injection but both come back in 10 hours. The overall feeling of wellbeing is improved. However, motivation and drive for achievements are shrunk.

5 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is one of the most common psychological disorders, following depression and alcoholism. The study published by Psychology Today revealed shocking results: 90% of participants stated that they experience symptoms of social anxiety disorder regularly. The good news: these 5 tips could help you to overcome symptoms and start living more fulfilling life.

1) Remember: you brain tend overthinking things.

No matter how confident we are, our brain is always anxious. Just take it as rule. It works this way, period! Our brain is evolutionarily wired to keep us safe from danger and rejection otherwise we would not survive. Anticipating a worrisome event is always worse than the actual situation. Always! For example, after being worried about a date or even visiting a gym in the first times, it may actually be a relief to walk through the door, and surprisingly find out that it is not scary at all. Our brain always tries to draw the worse case scenarios. So it’s important to remember that the alarm bells before an event are usually louder than necessary.

2) Face your fear – volunteer!

Exposure-response prevention is one of the CBT techniques that recommends facing your fear voluntary step by step or at once (depends on your personality). Push yourself slightly or just “jump into the sea”. I mean, for example, ask whoever is in charge how you can help. If you are worried, for instance, about the big event and scared to meet new people – volunteer to be a host. It sounds a bit strange but it works. Often, social awkwardness could be eliminated by having a defined role. Asking attendees to sign the guest book gives you a reason to interact with people with no fear to be rejected.

3) Be curious

Many people feel anxious because they think that they have nothing to say. Here is one helpful technique: ask open-ended questions or ask for advice. Carry on. Ask another question based on answers that take the conversation deeper. Many people would be glad to talk about their lives.

4) Dedication is the key

Don’t trust to what you see in social media. Multiple social psychology studies shown that the average American has about two true friends and one out of four participants revealed that they have no social circle at all. Unfortunately, we are living in the century of solitude. It means you are not alone. We are all in the same shoes to some extent. All of us suffer from the lack of true deep relationships. So, take the initiative! Think, what you like to do and, based on your answers, plug yourself into a small, recurring group with like-minded people.

Do you like rave music? Go and party. Do you like skiing – take a day off and subscribe for skiing school. The most important part is to be consistent and to keep showing up. Commit for at least few month, even if you’re tempted to stop. Just keep going and trying, and one day you will meet nice people.

5) Counseling

If you’re ready for a change, a good CBT partitioner could help you face your fears safely. You will be asked to build a hierarchy of things you are scared or avoid. Next, you’ll work through them gradually, moving on to the next level when you’re ready.

Don’t let the social anxiety to ruin your life. Take your time, practice, be friendly, slightly push yourself, and slowly but surely you will start being comfortable in your own skin.

Tatiana Dmitrieva

Sources:

https://www.fitandtreat.com

#Relaxation #food list

Which foods are able to act as natural relaxants and anti-depressants is a question I’m often asked by clients.

CALIFORNIA WALNUT COMMISSION MEDITERRANEAN DIET — Mediterranean Diet probably is one of the best combinations of ingredients with anti-depressants properties.

To begin with, an overall balanced diet is always helpful. By that I mean a clean wholefood diet with the minimum possible amount of processed food intake. Macronutrient modulation varies and depends on factors such as your:

– activity level

– overall fitness level

– body composition

– body related goals

– lifestyle

Probably the best healthy ratio is:

– up to 20% healthy fats

– 30-40% lean protein

– 40-50% carbohydrates.

We’ll talk about an ideal macronutrients’ modulation ratio in another article in more detail.

Returning to the main topic, the following is a (non-exhaustive) list of foods with calming and relaxing properties:

1) Almost all fruits and berries: They are full of natural sugar and antioxidants. Fructose is the quickest carb (source of energy) after refined sugar, and your body will automatically feel happier and more relaxed with more sugar in the bloodstream. However, do keep in mind that if you aim to become leaner you will have to pursue a diet with a low fructose content.

2) Oily fish. Fish oil is well-known nutrient that increases the brain’s metabolism. By combining fish oil with nootropics you can easily achieve a state of calm and have a clearer mind. Book aconsultation to get a list of over-the- counter nootropics.

3) Herbal tea. A blend of mint, chamomile, artichoke and lavender is one of the best relaxation options.

4) Cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cacao are four spices that were historically used as natural mood lifters and relaxants. Adding a sprinkle of cinnamon in your coffee can help, or even simply inhaling their scent.

5) Chicken hearts and liver are perfect sources of essential amino acids, vitamin B, choline, inositol and Iron. This combination of nutrients is one of the most effective ‘cocktails’ for boosting the central nervous system.

6) Despite the negative publicity and misconceptions surrounding the consumption of egg yolks, the high concentration of cholesterol in them is designed by nature as a perfect source of nutrients. Rich in lecithin, vitamin B, amino acids, choline, inositol, vitamins A and E, phosphatidil serine and many more beneficial substances, egg yolks alone could provide your body with almost everything it needs. However, do not exceed the healthy allowance. Have 1-3 whole eggs a day, adding some separated egg whites if you need to increase your protein intake.

7) Now anyone with a sweet tooth can celebrate – Dark Chocolate!! Yes, having a piece or two of dark chocolate each day will definitely help your body to boost its ‘positive vibe’ hormones.

8) Have a glass of wine. Yes, and YES again!!! But only one, and make sure it’s a high quality wine. First of all, it’s an additional 75 kcal of quick energy that your body will be grateful for. Secondly, high quality wine contains a high concentration of bio-flavonoids and antioxidants.

Taken in a moderate quantities, wine can also act as a minor natural relaxant.

And remember; even if you eat healthily all the time and are a fitness fanatic, allowing your body a little bit of what you really love is always beneficial. By keeping your diet 95% clean, let’s say, you will have even better results than confining yourself to a strict regimen of traditional lean and mean boiled chicken breast, and rice and broccoli.

Enjoy your diet.

Enjoy your life.

Tatiana Dmitrieva

Deep Saturday nigth #meditation #music

Landhouse & Raddantze by Seaside | Trip on #SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/rolandsons-seasidetrip/seasidetrip83-dancing-jellyfish-landhouse-raddantze

How to end a hurtful relationship

We often hear words like “Let it go” or “just cut him/her off”, but when it comes to actually following this advice, we’re not as good at letting things, people and situations go as we think we are. What are we afraid of?

Read also What negativity does to our life.

Ending a painful and destructive relationship is like removing a tooth that’s making you suffer. You have to be prepared to feel even worse pain after the operation, but it will ultimately recede.

I can’t compare people with teeth but… some relationships are very much like toothache: you are constantly in pain, lose your inner peace, your productivity, creativity and sense of adequacy. Mental or physical pain is always a signal that we have to take some sort of action. You should never simply change your attitude towards pain and quietly accept it. Although you can endure it for a time whilst trying to deal with the cause, but if your ‘medication’ doesn’t work then ‘surgery’ may be the best option.

Letting go of people has been always been a challenge for me. Being highly empathetic I often find myself being highly attuned to other people’s feelings, and caring deeply about them. My parents and grandparents always taught me to consider others people’s feelings before my own. I think that people with high emotional intelligence are also more susceptible to suffering from such situations and that they are therefore open to exploitation by less sensitive people. If you feel that you fall into the former category, then the following points could be useful.

Pay attention to inner discomfort.

Emotions never lie. If you feel uncomfortable with someone this may indicate that you are in a toxic relationship. However, don’t stress. Just vocalize your worries, feelings and/or doubts immediately. Don’t wait for the problem to solve itself. If the other person is overly aggressive, highly defensive or attacks you instead of looking for a mutually acceptable solution, then it’s time to leave. Don’t wait for it to become unbearable.

Do not be afraid of emptiness.

First of all, the feeling of emptiness is a good feeling. Emptiness can be space for something new, for people who will truly appreciate you, for better opportunities and for inner peace. This empty space could be vacant for some time, but that’s ok! Don’t rush to fill it. Look around, try to spend more time with your inner child, listen what she is talking about, do something nice for her. I’m sure you will find plenty of things you have always wanted to do but never had time. You won’t believe how wonderful that time of ‘emptiness’ can be if you reinterpret it as time for yourself.

Cut! Cut and go!

Don’t be afraid hurting people if they were not afraid hurting you? Stop pretending that you’re Mother Teresa. Just cut those people off! Stay polite and respectful and explain your position if you feel like it, but don’t back away from the decision. Be ready to endure one last blast of pain. Be ready for the fact that some people might be aggressive. Don’t take anything personally, and remember that severing ties with the wrong people is like removing an unhealthy tooth: you experience extreme pain, and then relief…

Big love and peace x

Tatiana Dmitrieva

A bit of music for quality trans meditation

Music could be a key to the Universal energy. Open your mind and make a step towards the unknown. Embrace the unknown and share your experience with us.

Some people believe that ‘authentic’ meditation should only be performed in silence. It is completely up to you. I practice both ways: Listening to sounds of nature may be the best way to replenish your stocks of energy. However, hectic urban life often doesn’t afford us the opportunity to escape to a remote beach or a rural forest for an hour or two. In this case music can act as a key to open the ‘sacred door’ to the soul. Try various things, and choose what works for you the best. Here is a list of a few wonderful options I tied myself.

Leichtigkeit Des Seins – LDS 5.3 by LDS ROOM on #SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/ldsroom/leichtigkeit-des-seins-lds-53

2. BABËL▽ Geju – Kudasai Chudes by BABËLIVE on #SoundCloud

3. We Go For Sound : 11 | MoM | May 2016 by Ethereal Kollektiv on #SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/etherealkollektiv/wgfs-11-mom

4. Jati Div at Leveldva by leveldva**| music on #SoundCloud

5. Bonjour Ben | Mandala by Bonjour Ben on #SoundCloud

Enjoy

Namaste

Putting yourself first: Why YOU should be a priority

Being nice to other people is great, but you can’t please everyone. Being willing and able to give a helping hand to others is a fantastic personal quality, but don’t delude yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, nobody will. It should always be your first and foremost responsibility. Make yourself a priority. Believe me, it’s not selfishness – it’s a necessity!

In this short article I will outline four key reasons why you ALWAYS have to put yourself first, and what particular steps should be taken to do so.

I’ve been working with people for 16 years. Unfortunately, I’ve heard too many sad personal stories from burned-out and deeply depressed altruistic, kind and open people who helped others too much without even the slightest appreciation. I’ve heard even more stories about broken relationships when one partner always put other partner’s feelings over his/her own. Every story is unique, but all of them have one thing in common: when you neglect your own feelings and interests, people start taking you for granted.

There is a simple explanation for that phenomenon. First of all, neglecting your own feelings, you assume the position of ‘less valuable person’. People detect this vibe and start neglecting your interests and feelings too. In essence, people always treat you as you treat yourself. Note that what’s important is what you feel but not what you think about yourself. There is a huge difference between these two dimensions of self-awareness; you can encourage yourself with uplifting thoughts, such as: “I deserve the best”, “I’m clever and attractive”, or “People respect me as a professional” – but ultimately this is just noise. What you really feel is what really matters.

Neglecting your own feelings, you assume the position of ‘less valuable person’. People detect this vibe and start neglecting your interests and feelings too.

What should you do to change the pattern? A good therapist or high performance coach could be helpful. Here are no short cuts, I’m afraid. However,

the solution of every problem starts from a conscious acknowledgement of why you have to do certain things.

So, here’s why you should always put your own feelings first:

It’s important for your health

It’s simple: if you neglect your feelings you become stressed. You may be a “people person” and really enjoy helping others, but stress and burnout will ensue if you are always relegating your feelings and interests to the back of the queue. As a result your stress hormones will increase, your body will stop functioning properly and you’ll get sick. You might feel tired, fatigued, demotivated and even develop a serious condition such as hormonal imbalances, digestion problems, weight gain, sleep deprivation, depression, and so on.

It’s important for your relationships

When you always elevate your partner’s feelings and interests over your own, and give more than get back, you will not only start appreciating him or her less but also be constantly exhausted, drained or, conversely, overwhelmed and have a sense of being unfairly treated. Those bitter feelings could utterly destroy your relationship.

So, take time for yourself if you need it. Rest well, and come back to your loved one fresh and happy. If you are permanently overworked and have no energy to spend quality time with your partner, then explain your situation, skip a date or two, recharge yourself, and ask your partner for help.

If you get a lot of superficial and useless advice instead of solid actions I reckon it’s time to accept the fact that the person you are with is not your real ‘partner in crime’. Remember, partners take responsibilities and should not only share the good times with you, but also the hard work and tough periods in your life.

Here I’d like to add a few words about gender-related differences: Even though modern society actively supports the idea of equality of the sexes, we are not the same. Our bodies and hormones are different and as a result our contributions to a relationship are not the same either.

This is a broad and complex topic which I intend to tackle in a future article.

Watch this amazing talk about gender differences and relationships by John Gray (the author of best-seller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSi00H4f8Fs

It’s important for your career and self-realisation

Logically, if you’re stressed and tired and feel useless and demotivated, you can’t be productive and creative in your daily job. Constantly trying to please your co-workers and business partners is a certain route to self-destruction. Put your own needs first.

Interact and collaborate by all means, but don’t allow work to be piled on your shoulders just because you are “that nice guy”.

You can – and must – limit your tasks. You also have the right to rest and holidays. Don’t forget about these simple things, as overwork reduces your productivity and could affect the overall team’s results. Putting your feelings and health first is not selfish it’s highly beneficial for the whole team.

It’s important for this World

Spiritually speaking, all of us are responsible for those energies we transmit to the World. When we are on our best form we contribute more to society. On the other hand,

by transmitting misery, apathy, anger or a sense of victimhood, we multiply those low feelings poisoning the space around us.

It’s important to assume responsibility for our shared wellness, and always take care of yourself and protect your interests. The more balanced and happy people there are around, the happier and more harmonious our lives will be.

Tatiana Dmitrieva

Why we have to be grateful for bad things

Being grateful for bad things too actually eliminate bad things as class from your life. They become things to be grateful for: lessons, freedom, understanding, and acceptance.

Gratitude is one of the fundamental principles of spiritual practice. But while it’s easy to be grateful for good things, what about bad ones? Many spiritual books and gurus tell us that we should be grateful even for the hurtful things in life. Many psychoanalysts and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioners also strongly advocate the benefits of maintaining a positive attitude and outlook when undergoing painful situations.

Have you ever noticed that everything happens for a reason? Very often negative events bring something really positive into our lives. I’ll give you a couple of examples from my personal life-journey. At one point my job application was refused because the level of my English didn’t satisfy my potential employer. I had to survive without an income for eight months and really struggled to make ends meet. That was a tough time, but being rejected actually incentivized me into learning English properly. 8 years later I moved to London, and succeeded in gaining postgraduate degrees from two top UK universities and graduated from a first class university in the United States. The entire curriculum was, of course, in English. Looking back at my experiences, I am grateful to the person who initially binned my application, an experience which drove me to improve myself.

There are plenty of examples of why we should be grateful for sad events in our lives. I’m pretty sure each of you have experienced something similar in the past, and you’ll know that the most painful time is the period immediately after the event. It is very important to be consciously present at this moment in time, and interpret the things that are happening to you in the right way. Being depressed is extremely counter-productive, and negativity merely attracts more negativity.

Here are few examples of ways in which we should try to react, in order to maintain our serenity, reflect gratitude and radiate positivity:

Stay ridiculously positive

Imagine that the person you’re in love with suddenly changes. Those sweet jokes, positive vibes, generosity, compassion, and appreciation are gone for no apparent reason. Be grateful! He or she has revealed their true self. Don’t dwell on the past, and remember that it was all a sham. Just move on: There’s no need to figure out what happened. Just be grateful to this person for emptying space in your life for someone truly amazing.

Your lover finishes the relationship, and there’s that awful feeling of emptiness…. Actually, you know what? Be grateful again! One who does not appreciate your company does not deserve to be next to you. Let them go. Probably your real friend, true love or partner is waiting for you around the corner, but doesn’t have the space to walk into your life.

Your business fails… Be grateful! Most likely, it was not the right thing for you, or not the right time. In any case, you are free to embark on new ventures. Every new start brings new opportunities, new inspirations, and new people into your life. Don’t miss these opportunities.

You lose money… Be grateful that someone took it. First of all, you made somebody’s life a bit better. Accept it as karmic: All good deeds will definitely pay off. Secondly, view the financial loss as a tax on your future happiness, health and wellbeing.

You break your leg… That’s shitty, but I would still encourage you to be grateful! You won’t be able to run for a while but you will have some free time to accomplish other things that you always wanted. Start learning a new language, read books from your reading list, go to art classes…

You’re treated poorly… Be grateful! Firstly, remember the old adage that what goes around comes around. Your karma will benefit from the experience. Secondly, you’ll be reminded of what you appreciate in those people who treat you properly. And finally, you’ll learn what you shouldn’t do to others.

So my dear friends, what are the three bad things you are grateful for today?

Tatiana Dmitrieva

What negativity does to you life

Negative thinking and subsequent emotions are probably two of our worst enemies, and not just because we are feeling down, frustrated or overwhelmed with negativity… What impact can these thoughts have? Here’s a rundown of their terrible effect on our lives. They:

Also read How and why to meditate. Simple techniques to start your mindful journey, and Being an Empath. Top 10 Traits

Kill productivity

Can you fully concentrate on the present moment when you’re overwhelmed by worry, fear, emotional pain or other negative emotions? I didn’t think so! You can’t be productive without completely focusing on what you do. You are ‘doing your thing’ but at the same time you’re not really there; your brain is gummed up with negativity. You could be stuck in this rut for hours, days or even months. In some extreme cases, people can’t escape this damaging cycle for years. It is well-established that we, as human beings, are incapable of engaging our full concentration on more than one thing at a time; if you are doing more than one thing at once, you’re already not 100% focused. Your attention is diluted. Very often, negative thoughts completely dominate us. What happens next? We lose our connection with reality, and as a result, experience a drop in productivity.

Supress creativity

When we do this it is impossible to be fully creative, and we carry out tasks on auto-pilot. We become remote, detached and mentally disconnected from our surroundings. What could we make without creativity? You’ve got it – nothing of real value. I haven’t even touched the topics of inspiration or motivation, which vanish instantly when ‘bad’ thoughts emerge. Passions are supressed, and the fire of life is doused by a flood of painful memories and negative thoughts.

Activate fears

As we dwell on those negative things in our lives we increasingly fear the uncertainties of the future, and consequently our levels of anxiety rise. Negativity has regenerative characteristics: We think it’s conquered, but it can quickly take root again with only the slightest of triggers. It can also grow with astonishing rapidity, overwhelming us almost without warning. Memories of old grievances, lost opportunities, frustrating and anger-inducing situations and people who have, in some way, abused us, may all form part of the dismal mental fog in which we find ourselves, and which distorts our perception of ourselves and the world around us.

Our brain becomes locked into a sort of confirmation bias, in which we only see the negative things which happen around us and use those selective events to reinforce our world-view. It is a self-perpetuating cycle which can turn our world into a personal hell full of imaginary monsters and personal demons. Always try to remember that the ‘reality’ we perceive at these times is a fiction, created by our mind when drugged with negativity.

Affect your vibrations

How do you feel when constantly surrounded by abusive people, unfairness and cruelty? I imagine that the answer is “miserable”. Always keep in mind that your feelings determine the energy (vibrations) you radiate. As soon as you start feeling dejected and apathetic, other people will sense your vibrations and treat you accordingly. I knew one talented young man who was always unfairly treated by his colleagues and peers. Their behaviour toward other people was completely different, however; something he was constantly aware of. Finally, he was fired with no explanation and a few days later his girlfriend left him. When I asked him why it happened his answer was simply, “Those people are stupid”. It was difficult to believe his argument that absolutely everybody around him was both foolish and blind, and didn’t see his amazing qualities and personality. That young man was, in fact, vibrating on a very aggressive and arrogant frequency, which people picked up on. It was for that reason that they distanced themselves from him, partly as a protective mechanism. Why was he aggressive? Probably because of his past fears and anxieties. He tried to hide his internal insecurities behind scorn and criticism, adopting a position of ‘attack is the best form of defence’.

The moral? You get exactly what you give.

Affect communicative skills

You cannot interact with others productively when vibrating, let’s say, on a frequency of fear or anger. Even if you mask your true feelings with a friendly smile and polite demeanour, people will sense your vibration anyway. Moreover, sugar-coated negativity always tastes even worse. Can you imagine a piece of rotten fish coated with the finest Swiss chocolate? Both start smelling awful, don’t they?

Hold you from achieving your goals

Summarising all of the above points, negativity holds you back from achieving your goals, rendering you unable to fully concentrate, express creativity, and properly interact with other people in a truly friendly and collaborative way. Negativity generates ever more negativity, leading to a vicious circle which can have a devastating impact on our quality of life.

By increasing your levels of self-awareness, and through perseverance, you can break out of that circle. Try starting today.

Tatiana Dmitrieva

5 Simple Tips to Turn Around a Bad Mood Fast

As a therapist who talks and writes about mental strength, I often hear people say things like, “I can’t control my emotions.” Occasionally, readers will even make comments like, “You shouldn’t try to control your emotions. It’s not good for you.”

Also read How to declutter your mind,

8 Questions To Ask Yourself To Feel Better,

Kiteboarding as a spiritual practice: Zen, mindfulness, universal rules of being

But it appears that people who make that assumption are confusing emotion regulation with suppression—and they’re not the same thing. Just because you wake up grumpy doesn’t mean you have to stay in a bad mood. And just because you’re nervous about something doesn’t mean you can’t calm yourself down.

What Is Emotion Regulation?

We all experience moments when our emotions control our actions. When this happens, we often regret the things we say or do and wish we had been able to keep our emotions in check. There are techniques—like meditation—that can allow you to do just that, along with various other benefits, like mood improvement and increased compassion and empathy.

Regulating your emotions is about choosing to take charge of how you feel. That doesn’t mean you should force yourself to be happy all the time. In fact, research shows that forcing yourself to feel happy all the time backfires. But it does mean that you can make choices to boost your mood when you’re down or calm yourself when you’re upset.

Here are five skills that can help change how you feel:

1. Distraction (Keeping busy)

Studies show that distraction is the best way to cope with stress. The more you think upsetting thoughts, the worse you’ll feel. So rather than rehash that mean thing your spouse said, or worry about that stressful meeting tomorrow, distract yourself with an activity: Listen to music, go for a walk, or do whatever you can to change the channel in your brain.

Do any activity which requires full concentration on the present moment. It is extremely beneficial thing and not only because it could shift your mood in a positive way but also because it helps keeping things done.