How artificial oxytocin injection influences female health

This article is re-published from www.fitandtreat.com 

I read a lot about oxytocin effect on female health and overall feeling of wellbeing during my nutrition, mental health and neuroscience courses. Multiple research findings were pretty fascinating and looked like a solution for all specific “girly” problems. Statistically, the majority of us (especially single working ladies) lacks this miracle hormone that’s why we constantly feel stressed, depressed, gain weight, experience anxiety attacks, sleep deprivation, digestion problems, irregular or painful periods, moodiness and so on. On the other hand, it’s not easy to find the desired partner and build bonding relationships to regulate the natural release of oxytocin. So, I made my research, found oxytocin in a form of nasal spray and decided to test the chemical on myself. 

Here is the report. 

I got delivered nasal oxytocin spray yesterday. I always try all supplements on myself before I recommend it to my clients. So took it. Results are incredible. But before I share let me tell a couple of words about oxytocin itself:

1) it’s a hormone of bonding (usually our body produces it naturally when we cuddle with the loved ones). Female body also produces oxytocin during breastfeeding.

2) women are more sensitive to oxytocin than men (men produce vasopressin – male bonding hormone similar to oxytocin)

3) oxytocin neutralizes cortisol (the hormone of stress which has catabolic and inflammatory properties as well as provokes water retention, immune system suppression, and increases anxiety). Cortisol reduction helps women feeling more relaxed and satisfied, however, according to multiple studies, it reduces critical reasoning and motivation.

So! What did I feel?

1 hour after the injection: relaxation. My verbal functions and mental sharpness are slightly suppressed but I’m still fine and focused.

2 hours after the injection: I created an affordable package of my services and posted it on my web-site. (I’m not going to earn selling it but I will have more exposure and more opportunities to sell complimentary services, therefore, such as PT sessions). So I’m calm and relaxed but still alert and pretty logical, however, less hungry to profits.

3 hours after the injection: I went to bed because I felt like fall asleep. Usually, I work until I’m done. So, the obsessive motivation for success is gone. The feeling of my personal comfort and wellbeing turned into my top priority. Moreover, my verbal functions are suppressed even more. I don’t feel like to talk at all.

8 hours after the injection: still very relaxed, soft, tolerant. No obsessive motivation to hit the gym straight after getting up.

10 hours after the injection: spent an hour doing facial massage and beauty treatments with no anxiety to be late or lose time doing “unnecessary things”. Caught myself on clear understanding that

– I don’t really care to move back to Russia if in one year time my U.K. business (both of them) is not going to generate enough income to cover their high costs, salaries and my personal expenses (so pretty logical thought isn’t it?)

– I don’t care what anyone will think about it

– My comfort is my first priority

– I’m endlessly calm and relaxed

– I’m not going to work 12 hours a day anymore

– I love and value myself as I am and I’m completely fine with the way I move, look, sound, and so on. (Women will understand the feeling as we always never feel satisfied.)

Bodily effect:

– I have no water retention even if I’m on the first day of my period

– I have no psychological tension

– I have no muscles inflammation and moodiness

– I’m really fine with everything that’s going on.

Conclusion:

1. It works

2. It has positive impact on the body

3. If reduces cortisol as well as “fight or flight” motivational effect (be careful here if you have high-level risk-taking job)

4. It slightly reduces analytical functions and critical reasoning during the first few hours after the injection but both come back in 10 hours. The overall feeling of wellbeing is improved. However, motivation and drive for achievements are shrunk.

 

5 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is one of the most common psychological disorders, following depression and alcoholism. The study published by Psychology Today revealed shocking results: 90% of participants stated that they experience symptoms of social anxiety disorder regularly. The good news: these 5 tips could help you to overcome symptoms and start living more fulfilling life.

1)   Remember: you brain tend overthinking things.

No matter how confident we are, our brain is always anxious. Just take it as rule. It works this way, period! Our brain is evolutionarily wired to keep us safe from danger and rejection otherwise we would not survive. Anticipating a worrisome event is always worse than the actual situation.  Always! For example, after being worried about a date or even visiting a gym in the first times, it may actually be a relief to walk through the door, and surprisingly find out that it is not scary at all.  Our brain always tries to draw the worse case scenarios. So it’s important to remember that the alarm bells before an event are usually louder than necessary.

2)   Face your fear – volunteer!

Exposure-response prevention is one of the CBT techniques that recommends facing your fear voluntary step by step or at once (depends on your personality). Push yourself slightly or just “jump into the sea”. I mean, for example, ask whoever is in charge how you can help.  If you are worried, for instance, about the big event and scared to meet new people – volunteer to be a host. It sounds a bit strange but it works. Often, social awkwardness could be eliminated by having a defined role. Asking attendees to sign the guest book gives you a reason to interact with people with no fear to be rejected.

3)   Be curious 

Many people feel anxious because they think that they have nothing to say.  Here is one helpful technique: ask open-ended questions or ask for advice. Carry on. Ask another question based on answers that take the conversation deeper.  Many people would be glad to talk about their lives.

4)  Dedication is the key

Don’t trust to what you see in social media. Multiple social psychology studies shown that the average American has about two true friends and one out of four participants revealed that they have no social circle at all.  Unfortunately, we are living in the century of solitude. It means you are not alone. We are all in the same shoes to some extent. All of us suffer from the lack of true deep relationships. So, take the initiative! Think, what you like to do and, based on your answers, plug yourself into a small, recurring group with like-minded people.

Do you like rave music? Go and party.  Do you like skiing – take a day off and subscribe for skiing school. The most important part is to be consistent and to keep showing up. Commit for at least few month, even if you’re tempted to stop. Just keep going and trying, and one day you will meet nice people.

5)   Counseling 

If you’re ready for a change, a good CBT partitioner could help you face your fears safely.  You will be asked to build a hierarchy of things you are scared or avoid. Next, you’ll work through them gradually, moving on to the next level when you’re ready.

Don’t let the social anxiety to ruin your life. Take your time, practice, be friendly, slightly push yourself, and slowly but surely you will start being comfortable in your own skin.

Tatiana Dmitrieva 

Sources:

https://www.fitandtreat.com 

 

Why skipping breakfast could be beneficial for fat loss (experiments with intermittent fasting)

I always loved breakfast, being a strong believer that 1) breakfast provides energy for the whole day, and 2) that it allows you to indulge in one or two guilty pleasures such as a piece of dark chocolate, or bowl of cherries. However, your approach to the first meal of the day depends on your goals, lifestyle, and work-schedule. In some cases skipping breakfast could be a highly beneficial strategy for achieving fat-loss.

What sort of situations am I talking about?

 morning-workout-tips_2

  • People who have just started a fat-loss diet (i.e. untrained or lightly-trained individuals with a body fat percentage of over 30% in females, and over 20% in males);
  • People who would like to shed fat faster (but not too quickly: there is no magic bullet in holistic nutrition);
  • Those who have a low-to-no chance of sticking to a very strict diet due to social obligations such as business, travel, dinners out and so on;
  • People whose bodies have adapted and become resistant to conventional healthy eating schemes, and who have ‘plateaued’ (This actually happened to me after six competition preparation diets over a two-year period);
  • Those who have a good overall fitness level, but who are trying to get rid of some stubborn fat (for example legs and gluts for ladies and the abs area for men).

If any of these cases apply to you, keep reading.

 There are three main ideas behind the strategy of skipping breakfast:

  • Intermittent fasting
  • Fasted cardio
  • Intensive but limited in-time feeding period

Let’s examine these concepts individually.

Intermittent fasting

intermittent-fasting-states

If you are not familiar with intermittent fasting protocols, the concept can be summed up as follows: An eight hour ‘feeding period’ followed by sixteen hours of fasting. According to Martin Berkhan, author of the Leangains protocols – a system widely known in the nutrition world – intermittent fasting helps to:

  • Increase blood flow to ‘stubborn’ fat cells during exercise;
  • Make the body use fatty acids for energy instead of traditional glucose;
  • Suppress Insulin release (a fat-gaining hormone);
  • Elevate concentrations of epinephrine and norepinephrine (lipotropic hormones);
  • Increase the metabolic rate when resting (the body starts to burn more calories when not exercising).

Berkhan advocates the extended fast (16 hours of fasting followed by 8 hours of feeding) as a powerful tool for fat-burn. I’d like to make a remark at this point:

Usually men respond better to the 16/8 eating scheme than women, due to hormonal differences. Researchers generally believe that women need a longer feeding period (14/10 or even 12/12) in order to support healthy female sex hormone production. The length of the ‘feeding time’ for women also depends on the menstrual cycle period.

My personal experience

My personal experience of intermittent fasting was extremely positive. I first gave this strategy a try 12 years ago when I experienced sudden weight-gain due to an inability to stick to my usual dietary and exercise routine. My job was extremely demanding at the time, and I consequently tried very hard to get back on track. I followed the extended protocol, skipping dinner instead of breakfast. It worked well and I lost 12 lbs over the course of 3 months, but unfortunately my social life also dropped off.

IMG_0652.JPG

A month ago I tried intermittent fasting again, as I had to travel a lot and I didn’t have the option of carrying on with my small/frequent meal strategy for a little while. I also felt that my body had adapted and become resistant to the latter technique, as I had been following it for the past two years. I altered the fasting protocol by skipping breakfast instead of dinner. My starting point was the 16/8 scheme, which I initially found sustainable, but within seven days I started feeling a slight lack of energy. I extended my feeding period to 10 hours for another ten days and then to 12 hours, which brought me to the final stage of my menstrual cycle – exactly one week before my period (at this time the female body requires more energy). Then I took three days off, eating clean, small and frequent meals. I started the course again when my period was over.

The overall result for one month was losing 6lbs and a decrease of 1.5% of body fat without being on extremely strict diet (I continued to eat fruits, berries and even had a glass or wine or a piece of dark chocolate occasionally).

The main principles of intermittent fasting:

*contact me for customized calculations and timing

  • High protein consumption*
  • High vegetable intake
  • Intense training: do resistance training 3-5 times a week and fasted cardio 4-6 times a week before your first meal.
  • Carb cycling: increase carbs* (sweet potato, butternut squash, whole grain bread and pasta, rise, fruit, etc.) on the resistance training day especially legs day.
  • Nutrient timing: eat the biggest meal straight after resistance training in order to avoid muscle brake-down and quicken recovery. If you want to increase the fat-burn effect, skip carbs after the fasted cardio.*

The easiest way to try intermittent fasting is by fasting from 9-10 PM until 1-4PM the next day, doing fasted cardio around 11am. In other words, by skipping breakfast. While you can always skip dinner instead, you may find that you end up sacrificing the pleasure of catching up with your friends.

Don’t labour under the delusion that by simply skipping a meal or two you will achieve a fitness model body. The strategy only works effectively with the right combination of meal planning, food selection, fasted cardio programme, workout plan and nutrient-timing.

Fasted cardio

morning fasted cardio blond with red pants

Fasted cardio is another idea behind beneficial breakfast skipping. When done on an empty stomach, such cardio is a great tool to combat that stubborn fat. The secret is simply this: Your bloodstream is cleared of both glucose and amino acids at that point, so your body burns its own fatty acids for energy. I was doing my fasted cardio as a first break in work from 11am to midday. After cardio I had a balanced high-carb and high-protein breakfast.

However, some practitioners believe that fasted cardio could be catabolic: Yes, it could. To avoid muscle loss, take HMB or BCAA prior to and during a cardio session, and stick mainly to low intensity cardio such as power walking, cycling or light jogging, as you prefer. I generally opt for a long power walk in the park, followed by a 15-30 minute Hatha yoga session.

You can join me every day in St James’ park. Book your session here.

Feed your ambitions

Practicing intermittent fasting, fasted cardio and skipping breakfast could work well together with an intensive feeding period. How does it work?

First of all, your body needs energy to function and recover. Logically, you have to use your feeding period smartly and introduce a sufficient – but not an excessive – amount of nutrients into your system. Secondly, having 4-5 small frequent meals or 2-3 big meals (it’s up to you; I personally prefer the first option, but when I’m pushed for time I always have the option of the second). You will boost your metabolism, stimulating the body into burning more calories during the resting/fasting period.  And last but not least, eating healthy and delicious food is always great fun.

Enjoy your diet.

 Possible Day Schedule

*contact me for bespoke dosages calculation and meal planning 

8:00 AM – Wake up, drink 500 ml of water with l-tyrosine and l-tryptophan powder mix* + 2 cups of green tea

9:00 AM – Drink 500 ml – 1l of water with a mix of L-taurine, threonine, choline, inositol and l-glutamine*

11:00 AM – 500 ml – 1l of water + l-carnitine short with vit C* (take alpha adrenergic receptors short-term antagonist as a pre-workout to increase fat burning effect and energy release + coffee (optional)

12:00 PM – 60 min fasted cardio + 1-1.5l of water with a mix of L-taurine, threonine, choline, inositol and l-glutamine*

1:30 PM – lunch

3:30 PM – high protein snack

5:30 PM – pre-workout meal

6:30 – take alpha adrenergic receptors antagonist as a pre-workout to increase fat burning effect + coffee (optional)

6:30 – resistance work-out (optional)

8:00 – protein shake or post-workout meal*

9:00 – dinner

Tatiana Dmitrieva

 

#Relaxation #food list

Which foods are able to act as natural relaxants and anti-depressants is a question I’m often asked by clients. 

CALIFORNIA WALNUT COMMISSION MEDITERRANEAN DIET
Mediterranean Diet probably is one of the best combinations of ingredients with anti-depressants properties. 
To begin with, an overall balanced diet is always helpful. By that I mean a clean wholefood diet with the minimum possible amount of processed food intake. Macronutrient modulation varies and depends on factors such as your:

– activity level

– overall fitness level

– body composition

– body related goals

– lifestyle

Probably the best healthy ratio is:

– up to 20% healthy fats

– 30-40% lean protein

– 40-50% carbohydrates.

We’ll talk about an ideal macronutrients’ modulation ratio in another article in more detail.

Returning to the main topic, the following is a (non-exhaustive) list of foods with calming and relaxing properties:

1) Almost all fruits and berries: They are full of natural sugar and antioxidants. Fructose is the quickest carb (source of energy) after refined sugar, and your body will automatically feel happier and more relaxed with more sugar in the bloodstream. However, do keep in mind that if you aim to become leaner you will have to pursue a diet with a low fructose content.

2) Oily fish. Fish oil is well-known nutrient that increases the brain’s metabolism. By combining fish oil with nootropics you can easily achieve a state of calm and have a clearer mind. Book aconsultation to get a list of over-the- counter nootropics.

3) Herbal tea. A blend of mint, chamomile, artichoke and lavender is one of the best relaxation options.

4) Cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cacao are four spices that were historically used as natural mood lifters and relaxants. Adding a sprinkle of cinnamon in your coffee can help, or even simply inhaling their scent.

5) Chicken hearts and liver are perfect sources of essential amino acids, vitamin B, choline, inositol and Iron. This combination of nutrients is one of the most effective ‘cocktails’ for boosting the central nervous system.

6) Despite the negative publicity and misconceptions surrounding the consumption of egg yolks, the high concentration of cholesterol in them is designed by nature as a perfect source of nutrients. Rich in lecithin, vitamin B, amino acids, choline, inositol, vitamins A and E, phosphatidil serine and many more beneficial substances, egg yolks alone could provide your body with almost everything it needs. However, do not exceed the healthy allowance. Have 1-3 whole eggs a day, adding some separated egg whites if you need to increase your protein intake.

7) Now anyone with a sweet tooth can celebrate – Dark Chocolate!! Yes, having a piece or two of dark chocolate each day will definitely help your body to boost its ‘positive vibe’ hormones.

8) Have a glass of wine. Yes, and YES again!!! But only one, and make sure it’s a high quality wine. First of all, it’s an additional 75 kcal of quick energy that your body will be grateful for. Secondly, high quality wine contains a high concentration of bio-flavonoids and antioxidants.

Taken in a moderate quantities, wine can also act as a minor natural relaxant.

And remember; even if you eat healthily all the time and are a fitness fanatic, allowing your body a little bit of what you really love is always beneficial. By keeping your diet 95% clean, let’s say, you will have even better results than confining yourself to a strict regimen of traditional lean and mean boiled chicken breast, and rice and broccoli.

Enjoy your diet. 

Enjoy your life.

 

Tatiana Dmitrieva 

How to end a hurtful relationship

We often hear words like “Let it go” or “just cut him/her off”, but when it comes to actually following this advice, we’re not as good at letting things, people and situations go as we think we are. What are we afraid of?

 Read also What negativity does to our life.

 Ending a painful and destructive relationship is like removing a tooth that’s making you suffer. You have to be prepared to feel even worse pain after the operation, but it will ultimately recede.

 I can’t compare people with teeth but… some relationships are very much like toothache: you are constantly in pain, lose your inner peace, your productivity, creativity and sense of adequacy. Mental or physical pain is always a signal that we have to take some sort of action. You should never simply change your attitude towards pain and quietly accept it. Although you can endure it for a time whilst trying to deal with the cause, but if your ‘medication’ doesn’t work then ‘surgery’ may be the best option.

Letting go of people has been always been a challenge for me. Being highly empathetic I often find myself being highly attuned to other people’s feelings, and caring deeply about them. My parents and grandparents always taught me to consider others people’s feelings before my own. I think that people with high emotional intelligence are also more susceptible to suffering from such situations and that they are therefore open to exploitation by less sensitive people. If you feel that you fall into the former category, then the following points could be useful.

Pay attention to inner discomfort.

Emotions never lie. If you feel uncomfortable with someone this may indicate that you are in a toxic relationship. However, don’t stress. Just vocalize your worries, feelings and/or doubts immediately. Don’t wait for the problem to solve itself. If the other person is overly aggressive, highly defensive or attacks you instead of looking for a mutually acceptable solution, then it’s time to leave. Don’t wait for it to become unbearable.

Do not be afraid of emptiness.

First of all, the feeling of emptiness is a good feeling. Emptiness can be space for something new, for people who will truly appreciate you, for better opportunities and for inner peace. This empty space could be vacant for some time, but that’s ok! Don’t rush to fill it. Look around, try to spend more time with your inner child, listen what she is talking about, do something nice for her. I’m sure you will find plenty of things you have always wanted to do but never had time. You won’t believe how wonderful that time of ‘emptiness’ can be if you reinterpret it as time for yourself.

Cut! Cut and go!


Don’t be afraid hurting people if they were not afraid hurting you? Stop pretending that you’re Mother Teresa. Just cut those people off! Stay polite and respectful and explain your position if you feel like it, but don’t back away from the decision. Be ready to endure one last blast of pain. Be ready for the fact that some people might be aggressive. Don’t take anything personally, and remember that severing ties with the wrong people is like removing an unhealthy tooth: you experience extreme pain, and then relief…

Read also What negativity does to you life.

Big love and peace x

Tatiana Dmitrieva

 

A bit of music for quality trans meditation

Music could be a key to the Universal energy. Open your mind and make a step towards the unknown. Embrace the unknown and share your experience with us. 


Read also How and why to meditate. Simple techniques to start your mindful journey

Some people believe that ‘authentic’ meditation should only be performed in silence. It is completely up to you. I practice both ways: Listening to sounds of nature may be the best way to replenish your stocks of energy. However, hectic urban life often doesn’t afford us the opportunity to escape to a remote beach or a rural forest for an hour or two. In this case music can act as a key to open the ‘sacred door’ to the soul. Try various things, and choose what works for you the best. Here is a list of a few wonderful options I tied myself.

  1. Leichtigkeit Des Seins – LDS 5.3 by LDS ROOM on #SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/ldsroom/leichtigkeit-des-seins-lds-53

2. BABËL▽ Geju – Kudasai Chudes by BABËLIVE on #SoundCloud

3. We Go For Sound : 11 | MoM | May 2016 by Ethereal Kollektiv on #SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/etherealkollektiv/wgfs-11-mom

4. Jati Div at Leveldva by leveldva**| music on #SoundCloud

5. Bonjour Ben | Mandala by Bonjour Ben on #SoundCloud

Enjoy

Namaste

 

Putting yourself first: Why YOU should be a priority

Being nice to other people is great, but you can’t please everyone. Being willing and able to give a helping hand to others is a fantastic personal quality, but don’t delude yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, nobody will. It should always be your first and foremost responsibility. Make yourself a priority. Believe me, it’s not selfishness – it’s a necessity!

 In this short article I will outline four key reasons why you ALWAYS have to put yourself first, and what particular steps should be taken to do so.


 I’ve been working with people for 16 years. Unfortunately, I’ve heard too many sad personal stories from burned-out and deeply depressed altruistic, kind and open people who helped others too much without even the slightest appreciation. I’ve heard even more stories about broken relationships when one partner always put other partner’s feelings over his/her own. Every story is unique, but all of them have one thing in common: when you neglect your own feelings and interests, people start taking you for granted.

 

There is a simple explanation for that phenomenon. First of all, neglecting your own feelings, you assume the position of ‘less valuable person’. People detect this vibe and start neglecting your interests and feelings too. In essence, people always treat you as you treat yourself. Note that what’s important is what you feel but not what you think about yourself. There is a huge difference between these two dimensions of self-awareness; you can encourage yourself with uplifting thoughts, such as: “I deserve the best”, “I’m clever and attractive”, or “People respect me as a professional” – but ultimately this is just noise. What you really feel is what really matters.

Neglecting your own feelings, you assume the position of ‘less valuable person’. People detect this vibe and start neglecting your interests and feelings too.

What should you do to change the pattern? A good therapist or high performance coach could be helpful. Here are no short cuts, I’m afraid. However,

the solution of every problem starts from a conscious acknowledgement of why you have to do certain things.

 

So, here’s why you should always put your own feelings first:

  • It’s important for your health

It’s simple: if you neglect your feelings you become stressed. You may be a “people person” and really enjoy helping others, but stress and burnout will ensue if you are always relegating your feelings and interests to the back of the queue. As a result your stress hormones will increase, your body will stop functioning properly and you’ll get sick. You might feel tired, fatigued, demotivated and even develop a serious condition such as hormonal imbalances, digestion problems, weight gain, sleep deprivation, depression, and so on.

  • It’s important for your relationships

When you always elevate your partner’s feelings and interests over your own, and give more than get back, you will not only start appreciating him or her less but also be constantly exhausted, drained or, conversely, overwhelmed and have a sense of being unfairly treated. Those bitter feelings could utterly destroy your relationship.

So, take time for yourself if you need it. Rest well, and come back to your loved one fresh and happy. If you are permanently overworked and have no energy to spend quality time with your partner, then explain your situation, skip a date or two, recharge yourself, and ask your partner for help.

If you get a lot of superficial and useless advice instead of solid actions I reckon it’s time to accept the fact that the person you are with is not your real ‘partner in crime’. Remember, partners take responsibilities and should not only share the good times with you, but also the hard work and tough periods in your life.

Here I’d like to add a few words about gender-related differences: Even though modern society actively supports the idea of equality of the sexes, we are not the same. Our bodies and hormones are different and as a result our contributions to a relationship are not the same either.

This is a broad and complex topic which I intend to tackle in a future article.

Watch this amazing talk about gender differences and relationships by John Gray (the author of best-seller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSi00H4f8Fs

  • It’s important for your career and self-realisation

Logically, if you’re stressed and tired and feel useless and demotivated, you can’t be productive and creative in your daily job. Constantly trying to please your co-workers and business partners is a certain route to self-destruction. Put your own needs first.

Interact and collaborate by all means, but don’t allow work to be piled on your shoulders just because you are “that nice guy”.

You can – and must – limit your tasks. You also have the right to rest and holidays. Don’t forget about these simple things, as overwork reduces your productivity and could affect the overall team’s results. Putting your feelings and health first is not selfish it’s highly beneficial for the whole team.

  • It’s important for this World

Spiritually speaking, all of us are responsible for those energies we transmit to the World. When we are on our best form we contribute more to society. On the other hand,

by transmitting misery, apathy, anger or a sense of victimhood, we multiply those low feelings poisoning the space around us.

It’s important to assume responsibility for our shared wellness, and always take care of yourself and protect your interests. The more balanced and happy people there are around, the happier and more harmonious our lives will be.

Read also Why we have to be grateful for bad things, What negativity does to you life, How and why to meditate. Simple techniques to start your mindful journey

Tatiana Dmitrieva

 

 

Why we have to be grateful for bad things

Being grateful for bad things too actually eliminate bad things as class from your life. They become things to be grateful for: lessons, freedom, understanding, and acceptance.

Gratitude is one of the fundamental principles of spiritual practice. But while it’s easy to be grateful for good things, what about bad ones? Many spiritual books and gurus tell us that we should be grateful even for the hurtful things in life. Many psychoanalysts and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioners also strongly advocate the benefits of maintaining a positive attitude and outlook when undergoing painful situations. 

 

Have you ever noticed that everything happens for a reason? Very often negative events bring something really positive into our lives. I’ll give you a couple of examples from my personal life-journey. At one point my job application was refused because the level of my English didn’t satisfy my potential employer. I had to survive without an income for eight months and really struggled to make ends meet. That was a tough time, but being rejected actually incentivized me into learning English properly. 8 years later I moved to London, and succeeded in gaining postgraduate degrees from two top UK universities and graduated from a first class university in the United States. The entire curriculum was, of course, in English. Looking back at my experiences, I am grateful to the person who initially binned my application, an experience which drove me to improve myself.

There are plenty of examples of why we should be grateful for sad events in our lives. I’m pretty sure each of you have experienced something similar in the past, and you’ll know that the most painful time is the period immediately after the event. It is very important to be consciously present at this moment in time, and interpret the things that are happening to you in the right way. Being depressed is extremely counter-productive, and negativity merely attracts more negativity.

Here are few examples of ways in which we should try to react, in order to maintain our serenity, reflect gratitude and radiate positivity:

 

Stay ridiculously positive

Imagine that the person you’re in love with suddenly changes. Those sweet jokes, positive vibes, generosity, compassion, and appreciation are gone for no apparent reason. Be grateful! He or she has revealed their true self. Don’t dwell on the past, and remember that it was all a sham. Just move on: There’s no need to figure out what happened. Just be grateful to this person for emptying space in your life for someone truly amazing.

Your lover finishes the relationship, and there’s that awful feeling of emptiness…. Actually, you know what? Be grateful again! One who does not appreciate your company does not deserve to be next to you. Let them go. Probably your real friend, true love or partner is waiting for you around the corner, but doesn’t have the space to walk into your life.

Your business fails… Be grateful! Most likely, it was not the right thing for you, or not the right time. In any case, you are free to embark on new ventures. Every new start brings new opportunities, new inspirations, and new people into your life. Don’t miss these opportunities.

You lose money… Be grateful that someone took it. First of all, you made somebody’s life a bit better. Accept it as karmic: All good deeds will definitely pay off. Secondly, view the financial loss as a tax on your future happiness, health and wellbeing.

You break your leg… That’s shitty, but I would still encourage you to be grateful! You won’t be able to run for a while but you will have some free time to accomplish other things that you always wanted. Start learning a new language, read books from your reading list, go to art classes…

You’re treated poorly… Be grateful! Firstly, remember the old adage that what goes around comes around. Your karma will benefit from the experience. Secondly, you’ll be reminded of what you appreciate in those people who treat you properly. And finally, you’ll learn what you shouldn’t do to others.

So my dear friends, what are the three bad things you are grateful for today?

Tatiana Dmitrieva